Too interesting at the front of the pub
THERE is nothing quite like relaxing in a hostelry with a nice pint in a seat which gives you a clear and interesting view of life passing by outside.
I felt that way until recently when, as a friend and I enjoyed a quiet drink, a man walking by suddenly thrust his face up against the window and peered inside before stalking off.
My friend and I were halfway through some comment about “It takes all sorts” when lo and behold we saw the man cross the street and do exactly the same thing at the pub opposite, thrusting his face up against the window to peer inside.
This was not a simple premises check to see if friends were inside but clearly the actions of a man who was one card short of a deck.
My view then got instant confirmation when the man moved a few yards on to a doorway where there was a tumble of empty cans and wine bottles.
We couldn’t believe what happened next because the man peered closely, reached out to pick up a bottle and immediately drank from it!
It looked like a water bottle and the contents were clear but it could have contained anything from paintstripper to urine.
It was disgusting and suddenly the pint in my hand didn’t look so tasty. I’ll be sitting at the back of the pub for my next one because sometimes life at the front can be a little too “interesting”.
Green lung looking good
ATTEND any Weymouth and Portland planning meeting and the expression “green lung” is bound to rear its head.
Green spaces are a must in any town and cemeteries are among some of the best.
One I walk through has recently had a lot of work done to it to rip out overgrown bramble areas, get rid of dead wood and generally tidy things up.
It looks much better and the wildlife seems to agree because a host of squirrels were out prospecting over the recently turned earth and investigating some of the newly revealed nooks and crannies.
They are so confident in human presence that one on a head-high branch let me get well within touching distance while another bumbled about in grass less than a yard from my feet.
There were a number of people besides me in the cemetery and several mentioned how good the area was looking, so those responsible should take a bow.
Too late to take him back now
AN elderly couple were in a Weymouth store browsing round to get him a new coat.
He was heavily wrapped up against the cold and his wife was fingering the lapels of the old coat he was wearing.
She said: “Got this in Leeds in 1973.”
Another elderly woman walking by smiled and said: “Well it’s too late to take him back now. The guarantee’s run out!”
In contrast to this warmth was the stand-off between a female security guard and a group of half a dozen 13-year-olds who had just been warned away from the store.
No humour here, just the youngsters showing a nasty grasp of the dirtier sections of the English language as they sauntered brashly away.
Get the right house!
A SIXTH cigarette butt tossed into his garden was a puff too far for one Portland householder.
The man didn’t smoke, neither did his wife and they had two young children and a dog using their garden.
There was no close access to the neighbour responsible for the butts at the back of his property, so the man walked off and round through a series of roads before knocking on the offender’s door to discuss it with them.
While angry, he stayed calm and in clipped tones asked the person to stop doing it because of the mess in his garden, the threat to his children and dog and the fact no one in his family smoked.
“Neither do I,” said the elderly woman he was talking to.
The man then realised that he had knocked on the wrong door!
A danger to both
HER mother might not have been able to bear being parted from her little daughter for a second but letting a toddler clamber round a moving car was little short of madness.
This youngster was completely unrestrained and trying to climb from the back of the car to get in the front with Mummy.
Never mind breaking the law, never mind every unchecked second putting the child’s life at risk, Mummy just didn’t seem at all bothered, didn’t slow, didn’t do anything.
Off she went and for all I know the child arrived safely at their destination. Let’s hope so and let’s also hope that Mummy activates a brain cell and next time secures her child in a car seat.
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