Michael Palin please take note
I’VE been thinking about contacting film and television star Michael Palin about doing a new series.
Most people know about the roadworks which for weeks reduced Chickerell Road to a 50-50 route with first one way open to cars and then the other.
Further transport treasure has emerged and Mr Palin could find rich pickings chronicling diversions for the town end of the route because it is now shut off entirely near the old railway bridge.
All is not lost because Weymouth and Portland should surely be able to harvest a coin or two from a Palin travel special, perhaps entitled “Around Weymouth In 80 Minutes”.
Of course we’d have to take a conservative approach since anyone using such local routes would clearly take far more than 80 minutes to reach St Thomas Street.
First travellers have to negotiate Check Point Chickerell and all the red tape signs and instructions associated with drivers being forced away from the direct route into town and on to Abbotsbury Road.
Threading a way down the pothole rattle-trap route to the Rock pub can take ages with broken springs and suspension and then there are the vehicle jams.
Traffic funneled into this one outlet builds up worse than debts at a premier league football club, so Mr Palin would have plenty of time to round his filming off with a few anecdotes about Olympic transport plans and a nice colour feature insert on car clamping.
Promenaders beware the swift uppercut!
WE ARE getting near the prom season when teenagers dress up in all their finery to celebrate the end of their GCSE stay at school.
It is a very important time and parents have to pull out all the stops to ensure that their son or daughter gets everything they need for the big day.
My wife and I have been on various trips for our daughter, so imagine my delight when I came across a sign displayed by one prom dress outlet which opened up possibilities for the event that I had never dreamed of.
It said that among facilities provided was “a full boxing service”.
Now a punch-up isn’t the first thing that springs to mind at a prom event, but times move on and maybe I’d missed something.
Perhaps to a list of dress, shoes and bag should be added “gum shield” to help prevent lovely features being battered to a Prom pulp.
I discussed the idea with my wife only to get a withering response that the service referred to placing new prom dresses in sturdy containers to protect their material.
How boring! I far preferred the idea of “Seconds out!”, “No punching in the clinches” and glittering couples suddenly swopping uppercuts!
Too much of a good thing?
CHARITY does pretty well from Weymouth and Portland which has a good reputation for supporting needy causes.
That said, I have been approached by a number of people recently complaining that charity is getting a bit too needy.
Said people cite their letter boxes being filled not by the occasional charity bag request for donations of books, bric-a-brac or clothes but by as many as three such bags in barely a week.
I’m sure that most people can uncover something they can donate – I tend to give books I no longer want – but simple logic dictates that personal circumstances are unlikely to yield a fund of such items in much less than a couple of months never mind a few days.
So whatever swells one charity bag is unlikely to be available for the second and to be non-existent for the third over such a short space of time.
Recession hits everyone but charity should bear in mind that if it wants consistent returns then too many requests could kill the public goose which lays the charity golden eggs.
Orangutans on Portland
YOU don’t see an orangutan walking around much on Portland so it was perhaps inevitable that this one drew a few interesting comments.
The ape in question was a man in a monkey suit taking part in a protest march against a palm oil energy plant which is due to be built on the island.
One of protestors’ concerns is the impact palm oil production has on rainforests which are the dwindling home of orangutans, hence the suit.
A serious subject but one which children can always produce a lighter side for.
The march was in full swing when it went past a mother and her little daughter who was delighted to see something so unusual as an orangutan walking past her in the street.
She chimed out: “Look Mummy, a gorilla!”
There then followed a hasty explanation about orangutans!
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