A right royal celebration

WELL, we’ve sent her off happy and glorious, long to rain over us in conditions representing true English summer weather.

Naturally the odd cloudburst couldn’t dampen a surge of local and national patriotism for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee celebrations and if Union Jacks painted on people’s cheeks ran a bit in the rain then no one cared.

There was everything from Union Jack fingernails to Union Jack dresses, waistcoats, hair grips, flags, bunting, tablecloths and I even saw a Union Jack pint glass.

It was empty, but everything else was overflowing with Jubilee spirits as people sat down at tables groaning under the sheer weight of sandwiches, sausage rolls and Aunt Ethel’s lethal sherry trifle.

The morning after was quiet, too quiet, just a drifting memory of plastic bowler hats, crumpled serviettes and people asking for paracetamol.

Still, these things have got to be done and any monarch who commands the nation’s affection for 60 years deserves a right royal celebration.

In any case, the Jubilee helped get Weymouth and Portland and the rest of the nation into shape ready for the next landmark which will be the Olympic torch relay, followed by the Olympics, followed by the Paralympics after which it will be just 15 weeks until Santa giving us some Yo! Ho! Ho! 

Bet you can’t wait for Christmas shopping.

Showing true Olympic spirit . . .

WEYMOUTH has been given a chilling example of what could be waiting for businesses come the Olympics.

One outlet was genuinely concerned about how it could continue operating in the face of heavy access restrictions and a mass influx of visitors.

So it attended various Olympic meetings and talked to officials about what it needed to do to get staff to work and to ensure deliveries of supplies didn’t get snarled up and delayed by the Greatest Show on Earth.

Being particularly forward thinking, the business looked at its Achilles heel and realised that if its chilling equipment broke down then they’d need to ensure they could get experts in quickly to repair it.

Unfortunately, when freezer repair workmen were contacted it turned out that they knew about the Olympic scrum as well and wanted nothing to do with it unless they got strict – and expensive – guarantees.

Believe it or not, the workmen said they were not attending sites in Weymouth after 10am during the Olympics unless shop owners agreed to pay any £60 parking fine they might incur through breaching any restrictions. 

Ice work if you can get it!

Draw some and then some . . .

CUTTING edge technology has always been an integral part of my life and only last week I learned how to switch my mobile phone on without having to ask a passing toddler how to do it.

Now, while this is child’s play for the rest of you, it isn’t for me, but I recently came across an aspect of mobile phone technology being used in Weymouth that even aficionados of the phone were still getting to grips with.

I speak in hushed tones of Drawsome, a phone addition which enables users to knock up a quick multi-coloured painting on-screen ready for their next exhibition at the Tate.

Those getting to grips with this skill in the town centre were some way past drawing “smilies” and clever paintings ranged from a peacock to a more luridly sexual subject that even the Tate might blush at.

There seemed no end to what could be produced and their artistic efforts swiftly attracted attention from people nearby.

Having realised that the spectators watching this art being produced were quickly trying to have a go on their own phones, I felt I should also do my best with my phone.

Dammit! There’s never a toddler around when you need one!

Not injured but dead

A FORMER nurse living in Weymouth decided to speak out after a motorcyclist with a blaring exhaust overtook five cars in a row including the one she was travelling in along the coast road to Weymouth.

The sheer blast of noise as the motorcyclist howled by her sparked memories from many years ago when the focus on safety concerns was perhaps not quite so sharp as it is in modern times. 

She told me that in her days as a nurse the hospital wards were full of motorcyclists recovering from their injuries, but this was not so nowadays.

I expected her to go on and say that modern wards were overflowing because of faster machines and faster roads but not a bit of it.

What she actually said was she felt modern wards were not so full of recovering motorcyclists... because more riders were being killed. 

Judging by the antics of this rider I’m not surprised.

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