Reading is for the birds
ADULT literacy standards are clearly falling if a harbourside scene in Weymouth is anything to go by.
There were literally dozens of people out enjoying the sunshine and, as it was lunchtime, the meal of choice was fish and chips eaten hungrily out of the paper while sat on the harbour wall.
This delighted the area’s seagulls who squawked and swooped in a crowd, squabbling over scraps of chips and pieces of discarded batter.
They were a very rowdy lot and several people and children seemed frightened by the way many gulls flew close to people’s heads forcing them to duck and sway out of the way.
There was also the question of droppings, but the gulls didn’t care about any of this and concentrated in greater and greater numbers to compete for food thrown into the air or dropped into the harbour.
So where does literacy come into this?
Well the whole problem of gulls is not a new one and Weymouth and Portland council is doing its best to tackle matters.
Part of that approach is a series of public notice message boards asking people not to feed the gulls… and many of the people throwing food to the birds were actually sat round one of these message posts which was being completely ignored! Apparently being able to read is now strictly for the birds.
Disrespect or just high spirits?
DEARLY beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and passers by to witness these youths jumping all over the front of a church.
I’m sure that those of a religious persuasion might wish to forgive such actions because no apparent damage was caused, but leaping about church property struck a discordant note because it was so out of character with what is associated with such a building.
There were four youths involved, some lounging about while others clambered on walls or took running jumps up steps.
Some might question the harm of what they were doing and it is possible that the youths in question were just limbering up to get ready for afternoon prayers.
That looked unlikely judging by the language and the way those sat still were being incited to take part in the antics.
All too often churches find themselves the victims of vandalism or theft, so perhaps if more respect were shown to such sites during the day they might be viewed as less of a target at night.
It’s his mum and dad I feel sorry for!
HOW many of us have been walking round town or stuck in a traffic queue only to be deafened by Decibel Man?
This creature delights in having his car stereo belting out with all the windows wound down so as many people as possible can appreciate his taste in music and the thudding power of his equipment, all sponsored by a leading hearing aid manufacturer.
Up to now I’ve always felt it was the general public who suffered but what about the parents of these people?
I recently met one driving his son’s car as he went about his work because his own had broken down.
He bemoaned the fact that he couldn’t carry much in the vehicle… because most of the space was taken up by speakers!
We chatted and it emerged that the music equipment so proudly displayed had cost one third the price of the car!
So the next time you are forced to listen to a Decibel Man remember this. There is always a parent somewhere who may be worse off than you are!
Beer thief!
PINTS had been going missing and drinkers at the pub were starting to complain.
One man only left his glass unattended for a few moments but returned to find his beer had been drunk.
The situation was made more difficult because no one nearby seemed to have spotted the thief, so a simple trap was laid.
A pint glass was baited by being half filled with beer and then left unclaimed out in the main drinking area.
It didn’t go unclaimed for long because the thief struck again and sank the ale.
There was just one problem for the thirsty criminal… his illicit pint had been carefully laced with a proprietary brand of hot pepper sauce.
Staff then had no trouble identifying their thief. He was the one with steam coming out of his ears! He was then banned for life from the pub.
Give us a lick!
HE was clearly a loving man and it showed in the careful way he brought the ice-creams back to his partner.
His efforts were much appreciated because there was great excitement as the tub with a huge swirl of ice-cream in the centre got closer to the bench where everyone was sitting.
Then he held it out and the giant dog took several huge licks from it, wagging its tail back and forth like a whip in sheer pleasure.
Humans nearby seemed to want a bit of ice-cream as well but the dog was in no hurry to share and was big enough to repel boarders!
www.viewfromonline.co.uk
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