What price the swingometer?

DUST from the general election battle is beginning to settle and it is interesting to note some of the lengths media went to in an effort to gauge opinions.

One pensioner approached me with this amusing tale which left him stunned while showing that not every poll can be relied on.

He had been on a computer when he came across a site which offered guidance on how people might vote.

All people browsing the site had to do was choose seven different areas such as the Economy, Immigration, Defence, the Environment or Pensions.

Each chosen area then offered a series of views on that option, the browser having to click on whichever option came closest to their personal views.

When all seven chosen areas had been completed, the browser then clicked on another point and the site spat out its suggestion of how the person might vote based on the seven answers which had been provided.

Well it turned out that the suggestion offered to the pensioner based on his replies was not much good to him in South Dorset… because it advised voting for the British National Party which didn’t even have a candidate contesting that seat.

He was also quick to point out that he wouldn’t have voted BNP even if they’d had a candidate!

What price the “Swingometer” now!

The delights of Weymouth on a not so sunny May Bank Holiday

SOME claim that the May Bank Holiday is really the beginning of the Weymouth summer tourist season, but seafront visitors clearly wished they were in warmer climes.

I’d just got rid of a car load of unwanted items at the Lodmoor tip and was coming home along the seafront when I saw one of the most miserable sights I’ve seen for a while.

Weymouth’s excellent little land train was plying its trade on the Esplanade, but on board were the survivors of an horrific experience.

Pinched white faces peered dully out of hoods pulled close to shield them from a biting wind while bodies shivered inside every stitch of clothing they could wear.

There was an utterly despairing quality about those on the train and others like them scattered along seafront benches or huddled in shelters.

Just looking at them made me shiver because they seemed beyond caring what happened to them.

Typical British Bank Holiday weather really and I’m sure the hypothermia candidates I saw didn’t want to know that Weymouth had just had its sunniest April since records began in 1894! Bet they go to a different hot spot like Grimsby next year.

Get the message!

THEY say that all the work and stress of campaigning for a general election can take years off a politician’s life, but it’s not much better for members of the public.

One man was quietly going about cutting the hedge at the front of his garden when he was practically given a heart attack.

The source of his shock was a Chelsea tractor towing an election trailer on which were mounted a pair of speakers.

Unfortunately for the man he had his back to the passing trailer and jumped with shock when its speakers blared into life right next to him.

The message broadcast urged everyone to vote for that particular political party, the man replying with a hand message of his own which was so instantly understandable that even a politician would have grasped what he meant!

See how they like it

HE just laughed and laughed and laughed. In fact he seemed about to do himself an injury.

Some people gave him a wide berth, others couldn’t help but smile along with the happy chuckler as he managed to totter to a harbourside bench near Town Bridge in Weymouth where he subsided to wipe his eyes.

He was still spluttering and laughing when a passer-by stopped and asked him if he was all right.

It emerged that he was perfectly all right, never better, but that he had suffered at the hands of roadworks for months.

Because of that he just burst out laughing when he saw all the brand new roadworks right outside the council offices on North Quay!

He said: “Does my heart good. See how they like it for a change.”

These sacred isles!

IT appears that draconian new measures have been brought in to ban toddlers from Portland’s cramped and winding streets.

Apparently there is so little room over there that some shopkeepers feel they have no alternative but to limit their customers to older children and adults.

Before any irate parent gets too hot under the collar they might like to know the source of the restriction.

It originates from a shop sign I saw which read: “No buggies. Narrow isles”!

Perhaps Portland parents could unite with fellow mums and dads on the Isle of Wight and the Isle of Man to educate traders and improve their spelling!

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